The auto-correct on my phone has a sense of humor.
I have to block Ad Block so my ads don't get blocked.
There's a false sense of security in walled gardens.
Imagine what could happen if a smart toilet was hacked.
Why have a goat, if you don't let someone get it every now and then.
When dogs bite, their owners always call it a nip.
Players overachieve during the last year of their contract.
New contracts causes players to fall out of warranty.
No need to watermark these low quality images.
"Time takes time" means forever.
Social media is fine as long as you don't share anything.
Thoughts by Pittsburgh James are funny and punny.
When something becomes hard to watch, it's time to stop watching.
You're considered a "walk-in" even if you're in a wheelchair.
You can say "I taped it" as long as they still call it footage.
Low inventory at Pittsburgh dispensaries leave patients not high and dry.
Who carries cash anymore? I just carry a quarter for ALDI.
Publishing can improve spelling and grammar.
Connecting smart devices to the Internet right now is not very smart.
A smart car can fit in the Downtown Pittsburgh Penn Avenue Bike Lane.
It's a shame that you can only get two wings per chicken.
Facebook friends and Twitter followers can ruin your reputation.
Even if you have a strong heart, it can change in a heartbeat.
Can your heart stop beating in a heartbeat?
James believes that you become the company that you keep.
It's time to sell those stocks before the bottom drops out.
After the Women's March there will be a sausage fest.
Don't you just hate it when that milk starts messin' with you.
Never let a shoplifter in your house even if they're family.
Sometimes you have to shut the door before another one opens.
Sign on truck says "AAA Batteries Delivered and Installed"
Let them know, if you're thinking about getting them a pet.
The good you do will come back to you.
The good you do can come back to bite you.
It wasn't rain, but water main.
Can you wear red right after the holidays?
NFL ratings are down. They need to bring back sportsmanship.
The Mobile Virtual Presence Device is now a reality.
It's better to replace a cheap home printer than to waste ink troubleshooting it.
When I eat beef I get sluggish like a cow.
The world's best browser is a bloated memory hog.
The world's greatest browser makes up only around 15% of the browser market.
When the phone battery runs out of power usually the backup charger is out, too.
One lemon doesn't define a brand.
Google is kind of creepy with spiders crawling the web.
Be a lamb because sheep are so baa.
Could Pastry, Pie, Parfait, Popsicle or Pudding be next for Android P?
Spelling is easy, it's the grammar that's hard.
Pittsburgh's Streets Run Road sounds redundant.
The nose knows, that's why they call it the nose.
These are tweets that didn't make the cut.
Microsoft's defunct word processor app "Microsoft Works" is an oxymoron.
A junkie could be considered an oxymoron.
Do smart clocks move clock-wise?
The "Pittsburgh Left" is becoming a thing of the past.
NFL Receivers should run and cut, not cut and run.
Cats can condemn a house, but can't dog-it-out.
Website functionality trumps aesthetics as the modern look is just a fad.
Can eminent domain be applied to domains?
Designing a pillow that I will use as my pillow.
I didn't quit smokin', but the cold turkey was good.
Ever used a reverse paring knife?
I used to think that a kardashian was a flower.
He-said she-said equals doubt, he-said they-said removes the doubt.
The staff at "Compassionate Certification Centers" in Pittsburgh are very compassionate.
Pittsburgh PAT buses run late so often that when it does run on time, you miss it.
When having a procedure done at the UPMC, I always feel like I'm on an assembly line.
Google Chrome has sure gotten fat throughout the years.
If you lose face, does it include the neck?
Popular adhesive bandage container gave me a paper cut.
If they're not going to install roundabouts in Pittsburgh, then adaptive traffic lights are a must.
I'm not gonna to cease and desist, I'll just shut it down permanently.
A lot of those Bluetooth speakers are getting too big for their britches.
The new Firefox Quantum is like Microsoft Edge with teeth.
All my computer needed was a hard boot.
Pittsburgh Playhouse brings culture to the Business District of Downtown Pittsburgh.
If a bird lays a golden egg, is it a nest-egg?
If you're really paranoid, Duck Duck Go.
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